2003-07-01 - 1:51 a.m.

Oh boy. I�ve just begun to grasp the most elementary concepts of quantum theory and it�s affecting me terribly. It all started when I read Cosmic Banditos by A.C. Weisbecker. It�s a story about drug-running banditos in South America that are compelled to take a subatomic trip, of sorts, when they stumble across a bunch of physics texts during the robbery of a vacationing family from Sausalito. I laughed, I laughed some more, I became enlightened.

The book, along with my continuing research into the realm of quantum theory, has launched me onto a whole new train of thought, complete with brand-spanking-new tracks pointing in directions I�ve never been before. Even if the tracks dead-end, the pleasures of adventurous thought-travel are enough to ensure that it won�t be a wasted trip.

I�ve been working all day (IOW haven�t been outside) and felt the need to stretch , so I decided to walk to the costume shop to return my S&M costume from Saturday�s party. As I walked, I was comforted by my reflection of how the entire universe seems to operate on an underlying principle of change. From what I understand, the space-time continuum that we inhabit is a constantly flowing sea of change. It�s much like a never-ending process of construction and destruction. Take matter, for instance. It�s created through the destruction of light. The same is true for light. It�s created by the destruction of matter. From there, we just have to look around to see the process repeat itself throughout the universe.

This means that even those forces that I find disagreeable, such as death (or even capitalism) have their proper place in the natural universe. (Note: The following is written after a pitcher of Sangria split with James, a long walk and a couple of cloves.) It doesn�t mean that those whose essence is that of construction cannot resist or act out against those whose nature is destructive. In fact, they have to. It seems that, for our own satisfaction and happiness, we must try to live in harmony with our essential selves, no matter what combination of construction/deconstruction (Ying/Yang?) makes up our core nature.

It�s almost 2 in the morning and I, like my subject matter, need a rest. Like usual, I get the feeling that I�m just babbling a bunch of nonsense. Most of it would illicit a "no duh" from most people, but for some reason it's all new to me. Ok, so it's not new, but for me it's a new perspective, a fresh twist on old ideas. There I go babbling again. Sorry.