2003-02-27 - 12:07 p.m.

�One draught of Lethe for a world of pain, An easy bargain, yet I keep the thorn, To keep the rose.� John Erskine (1906) It�s strange to reflect back on how I used to cope with problems compared to what�s been happening lately. In the past, if something came up that I didn�t want to deal with, I didn�t. I just ignored it, hoping it would go away. When that didn�t work, I ran into the open arms of one or both of my best friends: THC and alcohol. I became so used to retarding myself into a (seemingly) blissfully ignorant condition that it eventually became my habitual state of mind. Thankfully, a lot of things have happened that forced me to realize how precious my time alive is. As thankful as I am for this, it doesn�t mean that my current life is free of anxiety and pain. Quite the contrary, in fact. Without the analgesic effect of the aforementioned friends, life confronts me with a vicious amount of pain and sadness that up until now I had managed to escape from. I�ve owned up to the fact that escape is not the answer. By accepting reality, as harsh and evil as it may seem, I�ve also come to see the soft, fuzzy underbelly of life � the part that makes you want to cry when you finally grasp the beauty of it.