2003-09-29 - 9:52 p.m.

This is my last night with DSL service and I can�t seem to make the most of it. It�s been a long time since I�ve been without broadband, and although I�ll still have dialup, I know that it just won�t be the same. I�ll miss being able to download any song, movie or program with the click of my mouse. I�ll miss the constant stream of news that keeps me up-to-date on all the happenings in the world, as they happen. I�ll miss the countless hours I log each day chatting with people about god-knows-what. I�ll really miss being able to satisfy every single curious question I�ve ever had by Googling away �til I found the answer. Either I�ll miss all of these things, or I won�t. Most likely, I�ll suffer a temporary withdrawal, then disconnect and realize that it�s just the end of yet another dependent relationship and go on about my bidness. Who knows? Maybe I�ll even *gasp* get a job.

I was planning on simply moving my DSL service to the new apartment, but SBC (evil corporate blood-sucking leeches that they are) wanted to raise my monthly rate in addition to sticking me for all kinds of transfer fees for doing this. I only had another three months before my yearlong contract with them was over, but the disconnect fee was nearly equivalent to the fees and additional expenses that moving the service would involve. Two hundred dollars later, and not a hooker one to be seen for it, I�m no longer �plugged in�. Following Buddha�s direction, I decided that it was the right time to free myself of this worldly desire, namely my attachment to the internet. Hopefully the process of decathexis will be gentle.

I woke up yesterday morning lying on the couch with an empty bottle of tequila lying on the floor next to me and a speech by Stephen Hawking on Free Will vs. Determinism playing on repeat. Talk about surrealism. Thankfully, I managed to make it to bed and grab a few more hours of sleep before moving along with my day. However, during those few hours in bed, I remember having the most lucid allegorical dream about recent events in my life. The dream was quite strange, but it was firmly rooted in things that had happened within the days leading up to it. Basically, I lost out on developing a more intimate relationship with a new friend by choosing to return to the watering trough of an old relationship. *sigh* I had been pretty upset about this turn of events, but upon thoughtful reflection of the dream�s import and the incidents leading up to it, I was considerably calmed. It�s all good.

If I haven�t said so yet, I really, really dislike my communications class. The teacher�s imagination is stunted to a grade school level and most of the students are just taking the easiest route to fulfilling their transfer requirements. I�m trying to make the most of the class, so I�ve come up with an interesting topic for my next informative speech: The ritualistic use of hallucinogenic mushrooms among indigenous cultures around the world. Right up my alley. The only sore point is that I�m going to have to limit the speech to six or seven minutes. I could probably give at least an hour long discourse on the subject. Anyway, I�m one of the first speakers to go up, and I hope to set the bar incredibly high for those that follow. I�m so vain. And egotistical.

Just discovered Emiliana Torrini - I love "To be Free." Good song, great singer.

Oh, I used up my last 3,000 banner views on this post. I figured that it was appropriate considering that it'll probably be even longer now between journal entries. Not that anyone really gives a flying fuck. By the way, here�s the recipe for a Flying Fuck, just in case ya�ll were curious. It�s a wonderful drink.

1 part Sambuca
1 part Jack Daniels
Serve in lowball glass.

Vaya con dios.